What’s that, normie? Did you call me gay? I’m not gay. I’m the straightest goddamn person you’ve ever darn did see. I am such an overwhelming behemoth of pure masculinity, that I have to give the entire neighbourhood my cardio schedule. 3 runs a day, 4 on Tuesday, and a walk at 4:00 on Saturday. This way, the men can lock their doors, to prevent the females in the household from running out to me and trying to unclothe me so they can get a peek at my dong. It gets annoying sometimes, sure, but hey, at least I have the satisfaction of letting some stranger on the internet know I’m totally not gay.
But I’d love to fuck a guy, just to see what it’s like.